Following on my post about values, the topic of goal felt like a logical next step.

I shall attempt to clarify what goal setting means, look at the benefits (and possible pitfalls) of goal setting, look at different views and research on goal setting and share my own reflections, based on my coach training and experience. My aim is to provide some information help you to set your own goals, and then work to achieve them.

What are goals?

Life goals are defined as the desired states that people seek to obtain, maintain or avoid (Nair, 2003). Goals may be short-term or longer term, and the longer term goals may be broken up into a number of short term goals. When you keep breaking goals down into their actionable parts, these parts are often called objectives. So, objectives are the actual actions you take to reach goals.

“Broadly defined, goal-setting is the process of establishing clear and usable targets, or objectives, for learning.“

(Moeller, Theiler, & Wu, 2012)

Because our lives include many different parts, life goals may be relationship goals, career goals, financial goals, and more.

Why set goals?

First, if we make a conscious decision to move in a particular direction it is more likely that we will actually achieve some travel that way – rather than purely relying on chance. The act of setting goals and the thought we put into crafting them directs our attention to the why, how, and what of our aspirations. As such, they give us something to focus on and impact positively on our motivation. In short, we are more likely to make decisions that benefit ourselves in the longer term if we are goal focussed.

Secondly, if and when we know where we want to be, we can assess where we are now, and essentially, we can chart our progress. This feedback helps us adjust what we do accordingly and when it’s rewarding feedback, our brains release dopamine, our “feel good” chemical (Treadway et al., 2012).

But there is much more to it than just goal setting. First, the nature of the goal is important, and secondly, the plan for getting there. For this blog post, I shall focus on the goal part.

Setting goals – The link to our values

When our goals are based on our values, they are meaningful to us. Meaning, purpose, and striving for something ‘bigger’ is a key element of in positive psychology. Dr. Martin Seligman developed the PERMA model suggesting there are five key elements required for a human to flourish positive emotion, engagement, positive relationships, meaning and accomplishment. The ‘M’ in Seligman’s PERMA model links to the value of goal setting.

The process of setting meaningful goals, in line with our values, is itself, a positive action. Working then to achieve these goals is then where we benefit even further.

Intrinsic and Extrinsic Goals

Kasser and Ryan (2001), defined two types of life goals, and explain that these relate to our wellbeing in different ways:

  1. Intrinsic goals relate to emotional intimacy, personal growth, and helping others. They are believed to be aligned with our needs as humans, reflecting our inherent desire for self-knowledge and more fulfilling relationships (Maslow, 1943).
  2. Extrinsic goals are more culturally defined and less about our nature as human beings, encompassing things like our physical appearance, social standing, status symbols, and wealth.

Research suggests that intrinsic life goals are related to greater happiness, self-actualization, vitality, and satisfaction with life, compared with extrinsic life goals (Ryan et al., 1999; Niemiec et al., 2009).

No surprise to see that some goals – the ones that the media and advertisers try to generate within us, such as a “perfect” (unobtainable) appearance, or a brand new Tesla (apologies to Tesla fans) won’t necessarily bring fulfilment and meaning.

It is worth, therefore, exploring your current goals and asking yourself what that is important to you. What will it mean to you to achieve that goal? What will it feel like to achieve that goal?

Evaluate your past and current goals

One goal I had from being about 10 years old was to own my own horse. Goal or obsession …. a possibly blurred line, this was something that drove my decision making, provided motivation and kept me focussed at key moments throughout school. I knew that I wanted the sort of job that would allow a good enough salary, and time to enable horse ownership. It is a goal I achieved, aged 27 and I have maintained ongoing horse ownership and developed this extending into further into lifestyle goals since then. To a certain extent, this is an extrinsic purchase based goal. It has also been one that I’m pleased I pursued. Here’s my first horse, Roland.

There are routes to horse ownership without university education, but this is something I also wanted, possibly naively, I thought teaching would fit the bill as a job. Once in teaching, then going for promotions like head of year made the finance more of a reality as did exam marking. The money I saved back in the late ’80s also gained interest and I never touched it through university (let’s not mention the student loan…) Admittedly, there was some good fortune here too – but that goal focus certainly made it a reality. Partly, this is a financial goal (they are not referred to as four legged money pits for nothing- the purchase is just the start), but also much more as any horse owner will tell you, this is a lifestyle.

Having my own horse is something that I am so thankful for, it is wonderful on so many levels, bringing wellbeing benefits at times I have needed the support. Such an escape from stress and a valuable connection with a beautiful animal.

Other goals have possibly not served me so well. At times I have also lacked focus and been unclear on my goals. There have been times when I have asked myself “Why am I even doing this?”. I now know where where I either lacked goals or my goals and actions were not aligned with my values, my wellbeing has been impacted. I have drifted into “what I think I ought to do” rather than conscious pursuit of meaningful, values driven goals. There is sometimes a place for this, but it is certainly something to be mindful of in my experience.

Reflecting back on professional choices, being a headteacher is a great job, such a privilege, but as I look back and I don’t specifically remember this being a clear goal. I’m not sure I’m really examined other leadership roles either. Similarly, having lived this role for over a decade, a rethink, a thorough examination of my values and new goals was long overdue. Setting new goals was helpful.

It is natural for our goals to change through our lives, either gradually, or more suddenly following major life events. For me, this has led me to set the following professional and personal goals:

To set up a business and lifestyle which enables me to be well and healthy whilst allowing time for what I consider most important. This means

  • Work flexibly – spend no more than 3 days per week away from home.
  • Work centred around my core values of connection, growth, wellness, creativity and expertise – coaching, mentoring and consultancy
  • Schedule time every week for riding and enjoying the horses, to be able to get out and compete in dressage (even just Prelim), so have time to practice and also have training.
  • Walk or run daily with the dogs.
  • Spend time with my husband and also with my dad – both full evenings and also day times.
  • Bring in income that covers my contribution to the bills, allows some saving and some spare.
  • To be competent, continue to develop expertise in my profession, through ongoing training. To reach PCC standard in coaching.
  • Creativity – also means trying new things. Challenging myself, being a biot scared.

Meaningful Goals – a reflection

It is useful to take stock at some points in our lives, step back and consider our values, and then think about what we want to happen next or what we want from our lives.

In the past, I have certainly set goals that I think I “ought” to have rather than those linked to my values or real needs. Within running – as a relatively new runner, just completing couch to 5K a couple of years back, my running goals started off being all about improving my 5k times, then getting to 10k, then improving that time and so on. It was only when I stopped to ask myself what I wanted from running (to get fitter, feel better, exercise the dogs) that I realised I actually just needed to be consistent. It is more important for me to stay injury free, to run consistently, not push the pace and set a goal of 3 runs per week. That is just me, you may be different. Yes, the personal bests are good to see, as are the Strava comments, but ultimately, getting the right goal is important.

I have also, in the past set work related goals that didn’t help me. These goals were not in line with my values, were more in the “ought to” category, and sometimes dictated by others rather than being my own goals.

Setting Goals

When setting goals, start by asking yourself what you want to be different. How do you want to feel? Jot down some notes, consider your thoughts about this and then come up with some potential goals. Look at your “draft goal” and ask yourself the following questions:

  • How realistic is your goal? Research indicates that the best goals are challenging, yet achievable (Locke & Latham, 2002).
  • Does your goal have a “positive approach” . Rather than setting negative, avoidance goals that have us working away from certain harmful, averse, or unpleasant outcomes, set yourself positive targets. Depending on whether they are intrinsic or extrinsic, therefore, they might be desirable, enjoyable, or ‘good’ in a deeper sense (Coats et al., 1996).
  • What might get in the way of you achieving your goal? How do you plan to overcome obstacles? Can you think of some alternative pathways?Be ready to fail along the way…but don’t let it stop you. It is worth accepting this inevitability first up and also be aware that resilience is a useful skill to develop throughout your journey.
  • How can you involve others? Family and friends can be invaluable. Not only do they help us generate ideas, but we may be able to reach out to them for support along the way.
  • How can you break your goals down? Celebrating wins along the way is the same as celebrating our progress towards a larger life goal. Amabile & Kramer, (2011) tell us the importance of celebrating success along the way.

Goals and Coaching

For me, coaching, building from the basis of a values focus, has then enabled me to define goals linked to my values. Exploring what is important to me, setting goals and then the really exciting part – working towards those goals, whether in mini steps, breaking into objectives or just diving straight in.

New coaches are often taught the “GROW” model developed by sir John Whitmore, where a client is asked questions to first establish their goal (G), then their current reality (R), then looking at various options (O) in terms of potential actions before the client decides what (W) they will do. This provides a structure, but if hurried, can miss out on some potential magic, in terms of the goal, in my opinion, the most fascinating part of the process. Frequently, through exploration, it becomes evident that the initial goal articulated by the client isn’t the the “real” goal…. that there is much more to be considered. With time, space, reflection and a non judgemental space, we can often get beyond what we think our goals are – or what we have allowed ourselves to believe our goals are or should be, and then go on to focus on something which provides far more meaning for us.

What are your goals?

What will it mean to you to achieve them?

How will it feel when you have achieved them?

What might get in your way? How will you feel and react if you aren’t successful? (this leads me to another blog idea)