Coming towards the end of 2023, I have started to see several posts about setting goals for the forthcoming year. I have set goals before or even New Years Resolutions and achieved with varying rates of success. Completing “Couch to 5K” a few years ago was probably one of the more successful, I still run, which I had never done before January 1st, 2020. Other goals or resolutions have been less effective and fallen by the wayside.
This year, I wanted to think differently, so I have been looking to the areas of positive psychology and neuroscience, prompted by learning from the coach training I completed a while back, for some guidance, which has brought an awareness of the benefits of celebrating wins first before thinking about goals. Previously, goal setting, for me has involved focussing on what has gone wrong or somewhere I believe I am failing.
Negativity Bias
Does this sound familiar? Research shows that, we tend to ignore our personal achievements and dwell on our shortcomings instead. In part this is the way we are built, what psychologists call ‘negativity bias’. Studies show we’re more likely to focus on the things we haven’t achieved than take stock of what we have accomplished.
Our negativity bias means we tend to pay more attention to negative events than positive ones and often make decisions based on negative rather than positive information. This is likely to be a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death. Those who were more attuned to danger and who paid more attention to the bad things around them were more likely to survive. This meant they were also more likely to hand down the genes that made them more attentive to danger.
The evolutionary perspective suggests that this tendency to dwell on the negative more than the positive is simply one way the brain tries to keep us safe. Whilst this may still serve a purpose, it is something that can also hold us back and ultimately be damaging. An awareness of it and developing alternative thought patters is therefore important.
Why Focus on the Wins?
Spending time focussing on the positives, our achievements, wins, however, small makes us feel better and makes us more likely to achieve further success. Our brain is a reward-loving machine. At the centre of this is dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation. When we achieve a goal or receive positive feedback (even from ourselves), causes the release of dopamine, which boosts our mood, motivation and attention. It also signals us to keep doing the activity again and again. Missing this celebration, therefore, means that we not only miss out on the feelgood element, but also the prompt to support future achievement. If we consistently undermine or overlook our successes, we can inadvertently starve our brain of this positive reinforcement. This can lead to negative neural pathways and foster Imposter Syndrome or other forms of self-doubt.
If you acknowledge your skills and celebrate your achievements, you’ll begin to act in a way that embodies confidence and competence. If you focus on failure, you are more likely to doubt yourself which will make you less likely to succeed. Recognizing your wins, no matter how minor leads to improved performance, increased motivation, and a sense of well-being. This has been studied closely, multiple studies have revealed that individuals who take the time to acknowledge and celebrate their achievements exhibit higher levels of self-esteem, reduced anxiety, and enhanced job performance. One study indicated that participants who reflected on past successes before embarking on a task were more resilient and performed better than those who didn’t.
Embracing Success can also be a challenge if we have been brought up to be modest. We may (I know I do) feel uncomfortable about acknowledging achievements publicly. Acknowledging achievements doesn’t, however, necessarily mean flaunting them. It’s about internal validation. I did want to share some thought, partly for my own recognition, and, hopefully, to help you look for your wins too.
Reflecting on My Wins
2023 has been my first full year of running my own business. Whilst I have also had a school-based role for part of the time too, this has been a year of learning about business. Setting up my accounts, thinking about pricing and meeting an accountant to organise how I pay myself and ensure tax is paid properly has been an accomplishment.
Growth and expertise are two of my core values, this year I have been pleased to complete further coach training, so I can now be confident in coaching teams as well as individuals, I passed the new coaching competency exam, and having completed 500 hours of coaching (and the previous 125 hours of coach training and 10 hours of mentor coaching) became accredited at the higher level of PCC (Professional Certified Coach).
Connection is another core value of mine, and the relationships I have built with the school leaders I have coached, supported and the teachers I have mentored have been positive. Their feedback has been super, with them commenting on how the space I provide enables them to think and grow, and how the support and coaching has benefitted their wellbeing. Again, with wellness as one of my core values too, seeing the wellbeing benefits for school leaders and teachers has been great.
My overall purpose professionally is to support school leaders and teachers, in whatever I am doing. Indirectly, by providing governor training, which has been well received and from which feedback shows positive impact has also been a win.
Additionally, in a totally random move, I joined Teachers Talk Radio as a host this year, my fortnightly show has begun to attract downloads and feedback has been positive. I have also enjoyed this new experience, growth and learning.
In terms of achieving personal goals this year, I have been pleased to be able to spend some more time with my husband, Richard, to support him with his travelling role and be more present for him. My Dad too, has benefited from us having some more time together, and I have been pleased to be able to support him with shopping and other appointments as well as regular trips out for coffee and lunch. It was also great to have organised a reunion with friends from university in November, I can’t believe 30 years since we first met, and enjoying weekend back in Birmingham this year was great. Certainly a highlight to look back on.
I pleased to have kept up with running, especially with the dogs and have joined a gym and started Pilates. I’ve enjoyed some day light horse rides and attended a dressage competition. I have also embraced my creativity, beginning to master pyrography and Dremel engraving and producing some items for home and for gifts. All small wins, but important for wellness and creativity.
Next Steps
The process of writing these has brought a real wellbeing benefit. I have also been inspired to think of next steps and new goals, building on the success here. I am careful not to let this take away from my enjoyment of the simple accomplishments – and sometimes a clear “that’s good enough” means we don’t need to take something further – just enjoy the achievement. It has, however, helped me to begin to clarify some goals.
How to Embrace Success
The process of listing and writing a little about each win has inspired some new goals for 2024 – so look out for those later this week. First, however, I want to focus on consolidating the important step of embracing success. Here are the steps to follow if you want to gain the benefits from embracing success too.
First, acknowledge and make a habit of writing out your accomplishments, no matter how small. Some prompts that may help are:
- How much have you changed in the last year? And in what ways?
- What challenges have you faced and what did they teach you?
- And what are the learnings you are taking into this new year?
- What are you most proud to have achieved?
Next, share your achievements. You can talk to friends, mentors, colleagues or a coach. Talking out loud can help and their feedback may be helpful too, but remember, this is just one perspective.
When someone offers praise, accept it gracefully instead of deflecting or undermining compliments. You can try a simple “Thank you” as a response.
Why You Should Share Your Wins
Celebrating our achievements inspires others to do the same, creating a ripple effect. If we can encourage and uplift one another, we can drive collective growth and innovation.
What have been your accomplishments this year?
Even the smallest wins can cause the dopamine release and then the prompt to repeat these, thus building future success. Sharing your wins will also inspire others to do the same.
